By Andrew Nyquist
All right folks, we had so much fun with the original version that we knew we needed to do a follow up… not just any follow up, mind you: Part Deux, Twitter collaboration style!
Prepare for tears and side aches. It’s time to go long some trader jokes…
** Best in Breed **
YOU MIGHT BE A TRADER IF…
You look at mountain ranges and see 5-wave structures and 61% retracements. ~ John Navin @JPNavin
You look at the night sky & see a hammer pattern instead of the Big Dipper. ~ Debra Lee @Catwoman2011
Your child says “dad can we order from DPZ, PZZA or Yum tonight? pleazze!” ~ Madison Montana!! @tlmontana
You are Catholic and you confess to the Priest that you broke your own stop loss rules. ~ traderblast @traderblast
You bought $FB at IPO and tonight you’ll sleep like a baby…wake up every hour and cry. ~ Emmanuel P @RomaniakTrader
You might be a trader if you’ve ever considered opening your own Fibonacci’s Italian restaurant. ~ Ross Heart @heartcapital
You might be a trader if you know that Head and Shoulders isn’t referring to a shampoo. ~ Raj Dhaliwal @RSDTrading
Your significant other asks to talk about the future and you blurt out “What happened in the futures!” ~ EconomicDisconnect @GYSC16
You go to the bathroom during market hours and it costs you $5,000. ~ Timothy Collins @Tangletrade
You regularly check the futures on your iphone when you get up in the middle of the night to take a leak. ~ J.C. Parets @allstarcharts
You would take a knife to a gun fight and a gun to a knife fight. ~ MarketPlunger @MarketPlunger
You understand that your best chance of ending up with $1 million in the market is by starting with $2 million. ~ Emmanuel P @RomaniakTrader
Your child get his allowance as a dividend. ~ Madison Montana!! @tlmontana
You think Gone With The Wind is about the monies lost during the Dot Com bust. ~ traderblast @traderblast
The only cable channel number you know is Bloomberg. ~ tradingpoints @tradingpoints
You wake up and look at the alarm clock, you think it is a Reuters machine. ~ Buddy Carter @matterhornbob
You may be a trader if you entrust important financial decisions to perfect strangers you met on Twitter. ~ Debra Lee @Catwoman2011
You have a great tan from the number of screens in front of you. ~ Minyan JR @minyanjr
Someone asks you how you are doing and you answer either resting or poised to go higher. ~ G @TandoorGG
When shopping or eating out, you rate the company’s service as a buy, sell, or hold. ~ Julie @TSXSwingtrader
Your last trade was your “dumbest” trade ever and the one before that the second dumbest ever. ~ Andrew Nyquist @andrewnyquist
** The Second Bestest in Breed **
YOU MIGHT BE A TRADER IF…
You have a T-Shirt of Helicopter Ben on tour at Jackson Hole. ~ Madison Montana!! @tlmontana
You find yourself saying “let me look at just one more chart and I’m ready!” ~ Alex Salomon @Alex__Salomon
You use trading terminology in everyday (normal) conversation and no one but you understands what your saying. ~ Marquette Neal @AMaltsLife
You celebrate your 61.8th birthday. ~ David Owen @IQMSUpdate
You routinely starve yourself from 9:30 to 4:15 EST. ~_peritas @_peritas
You think Jim Cramer belongs in the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. ~ traderblast @traderblast
You have no problem saying “it’s all about swapping firm rounded bottoms” to a group of women. ~ Sean Udall @UdallTechStrat
You equate bungee jumping to $FB chart. ~ Douglas Busch @chartsmarter
You would order Santelli vs Liesman on pay per view. ~ Joshua Schroeder @JoshuaSchroede2
You use the expression “I’m short that dude!” to describe a person you don’t like. ~ Ethan Jestal @EthanJestal
You start organizing products on Walmart shelves in order of ‘best in breed.’ ~ Elekra El Fuego @ElekraElFuego
You see a symbol and you automatically wonder if a company trades under it, then look it up. ~ Drew Shelstad @TheEmulator23
Monday mornings can’t come soon enough! ~ Sean @DipsandValleys
Your cat’s name is NASDAQ. … “But we just call him DAQ for short.” ~ Debra Lee @Catwoman2011
Your dog’s name is Arca. ~ Nalex @JFDI
You have no clue what a company does but know its ticker symbol and 52wk high/low. ~ Sandeep Bhavsar @sandeepbhavsar
The last thing you do before falling asleep is check the Asian markets. Nikkei up 1%. ~ Thomas Fox @QuantMess
You are never wrong, just early. ~ Some Guy @RaleighRules
You admonished your kid using charts of their math grades for showing a topping pattern. ~ EconomicDisconnect @GYSC16
You have considered having your headstone with a 4-character name symbol and a candlestick life chart. ~ Alan Austin @Chart_Man
Your alarm clock sounds like the Opening Bell! ~ Antonino S. Vitale @asVitale
You dream of tickers rolling by like the credits at the end of Star Wars. ~ Roberto Pedone @zerosum24
Thank you all for making this a lot of fun. Please share the laughs with friends and family and let’s keep it going!! Part III has a lot to live up too!
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Twitter: @andrewnyquist and @seeitmarket Facebook: See It Market
No position in any of the securities mentioned at the time of publication.
Any opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author, and do not in any way represent the views or opinions of his employer or any other person or entity.
